My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
wow bdsm is so cute
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
