but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
