Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
