addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
