Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
