I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
