girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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