I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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