I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
