Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Please don't give away my fajitas
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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