I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
