i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
