There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
