The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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