she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
dude. I can hear the air.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
