Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
