you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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