we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
