Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
