i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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