I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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