i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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