I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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