I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
