It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
