i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
