I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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