apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
