is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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