She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
