it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
