the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
