But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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