Can i not drive my cunt home
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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