I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
