you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
