Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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