Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
