Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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