Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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