If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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