Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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