Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
