its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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