I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
