Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
