he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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