We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
