dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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