I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
