oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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