Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
