My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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