You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
