You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
