i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
