I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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