doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize