well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You need a sexual gate keeper
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
