From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
