the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
