a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
