help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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