WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
