Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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