i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
