there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
