Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
