WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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